Home Alone


A slight chill ran through my body the second I thought about staying home alone with baby Gia for the first time.  I had never done it! My wife has always been around and because she has spent every living second with our daughter, she’s a pro at the whole ‘new baby’ thing.



"I’m not going to lie, I was pretty nervous, but played it cool, re-assuring my wife that I will be just fine! It’s strange how us dad’s tend to get stressed out about the simplest of things."

Milly had booked a well-deserved trip to the hair salon and I agreed to stay home and look after Gia for an hour or so.


I’m not going to lie, I was pretty nervous, but played it cool, re-assuring my wife that I will be just fine! It’s strange how us dad’s tend to get stressed out about the simplest of things.

Milly spent her last few minutes at home expressing milk for Gia and off she went.

In my wife’s 2 hour absence, this is what happened…


I got hungry and realized how difficult it can be to prepare something to eat with a baby in hand.


I decided to put her in the fancy baby chair with music and vibrating movements (how I would kill for a chair like that) but I guess at the very second I needed food, she needed to be held.


Gia got hungry, so I stopped eating my food to feed her.


She needed to burp.


She threw up.  I forgot the burp cloth.  There was a mess.


She got niggly so I thought she needed to sleep, turns out she was just bored. Taking selfies helped…for 2 minutes.


Gia’s face went bright red with intense concentration – a poop was in progress.


Imagine the worst case scenario that followed.  Yes.  The nappy could not handle the pressure.  There was poop debris on both of us.


She had a bath. I still had poop on me.


I lost the dummy. You have no idea how terrifying this can actually be. I rushed through the house searching for that stupid piece of plastic shouting ‘Lord please help me find the dummy’.  I found the dummy…on the couch… where I was sitting.


Gia then needed to sleep.  In my arms.  I still had poop on me.


Once she was fast asleep (or so I thought) I put her on the bed, thinking this is my chance to quickly jump in the shower.


Jokes on me.  As I put her down and released my grip, her eyes shot open.  All my hard work rocking, jumping and swaying through the house exhausted me for nothing.

I lay next to her on the bed and that was that.  We both passed out and woke up to my wife’s face.  I still had poop on me!

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